Xavier's Recent Conversations

Here are some conversations I recently had with my mom. She thinks they're really funny.

"I want doughnuts."
My mom gets out a bowl.
"I want a lot of 'ems." (Translation: I want a lot of them)
My mom puts two doughnuts in a bowl and hands it to me.
"I want A LOT of 'ems."
"That is a lot."
"No, not a lot of 'ems. It's two."
She puts one more doughnut in the bowl.
"That's three. I want A LOT OF 'EMS."
"Is four a lot of them, Xavier?"
Pause-- "Yeah."

My mom was going to read me some books before bed, and I sat in the place she always sits. Here's what followed:

"You stinker, you took my seat!"
"My seat. Sit on me mommie."
"Ok."
My mom starts to sit down.
"No! No! Too big!"
"What's too big?"
"Booty too big sit on me. I put my booty on you."
Then I sat on my mom's lap.